Metanoia

I have not blogged for such a long time. The reason is not pretty. Some would call it a crisis in faith. Not my faith in God, but my faith in the church, my faith in the hope that God's people will hear his voice and respond with metanoia.
Metanoia, a Greek word often translated as repent in the New Testament is then misunderstood as "be sorry and turn away from your evil ways". However, a better translation is change your perspective. Literally it is 'change/transform mind'; however in our intellectualizing and in our western culture we then limit this to the way we think. In the Greek it has a far more wide meaning, it is not only think different, it is feel different, have a new perspective, new values on which to operate on, it is literally to become. (Think of a caterpillar that through a process becomes a butterfly - it changes through metamorphosis!)
I am a pastor, I love God, I love people, I love all creation, so one would assume, unless you are also a pastor that the road should be pretty smooth - after all, one has a call of God on one's life to serve God, to minister to people and to be part of the Church - so one answers the call, does what one has to do to satisfy your particular branch (denomination) of the Church and there you are a pastor, a minister, a vicar, a priest or whatever title your denomination gives such people.
The difficulty for me came when as I studied the Bible in the context of learning Hebrew and Greek and in delving into the context that it was written in, the times, the culture, the realities of the people's lives I came to the disturbing discovery that our westernized, sanitized, limited and limiting understanding of the precious and delightful life giving word of God is skewed.
I am no universalist believing that no matter what you do, what you believe or what your values are all will be ok in the end because we are all going to heaven - but I am also no exclusionist, believing that unless you conform to one particular view, one religious slant you are doomed to everlasting hell.
In here lies the dilemma I have been faced with. As I see among my dear brothers and sisters who call themselves Christian of all denominations a tendency to think that their particular 'gang' have got it right I find not the "love one another as you love yourself" that Jesus called us to but a willingness to build division, to criticize, to build their own empires. As I look at the teachings in the more evangelical denominations I see the way of the pharisees, who wanting to please God, to obey God, built up towers of rules, regulations and lists of 'thou shall nots' that went go beyond God's simple 10 commandments and keep themselves and others far from Jesus radical breaking down of barriers and overthrowing of the tables. As I look as those who desire to show God's unconditional love and grace to all without measure I see a tendency to forget that his love and grace are to transform lives into a new expression of humanity in keeping with being made in God's image.
So over the next little while I shall write on where I have been, where I am in all of this and where I am going. I don't do this because I think you are so enthralled with my life that you can't wait for the next installment. I do it because I believe that every person Christian or non Christian faces these dilemmas and in writing if I do nothing more than say to a reader you are not alone, that will be enough. If you happen to read this and find hope in the God who has been worshiped by Jews, Christians and many who sought God in differing ways then I have been of service to you and to God.